Friday 8 June 2012

Woman says she became pregnant after watching porn in 3D.... Seriously???


A white American woman who had a black baby claims she fell pregnant whilst watching a porn movie in 3D. According toreports, the childs father , who is white was serving in the military in Iraq when she became pregnant.
His wife Jennifer told him the child was conceived whilst watching a porn movie in 3D.
“I see it as suspicious. The films in 3-D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible “he said.
Jennifer claimed she went to watch a porn film with her friends in New York and doesn’t usually watch porn movies and that she went to watch it to experience the effects in 3D. Jennifer says the child looks like the black actor in the movie. “A month after watching the movie, I started feeling dizzy and the results were positive.” she said.
Jennifer admits her marriage could be in trouble. “Even though my husband believed in me, my marriage could be at risk. But he knows I’m faithful” she said.

Thursday 7 June 2012

Nigeria celebrates first home-made warship


After nearly five years in the making, the Nigerian navy ship or NNS Andoni was launched with a colourful event.
At 31m (100ft) long, this is no giant of the seas, but the fact that it was designed and built in Nigeria, by Nigerian engineers, is a great source of pride.
"We are all happy and elated," said Commodore SI Alade, one of Nigeria's senior naval officers.
"This is the first time this kind of thing is happening in Nigeria and even in the sub region."
Moments after stepping on board NNS Andoni, sailor FL Badmus said: "I feel on top of the world.
"I'm proud to have been picked by the naval authorities to serve on this ship.
"We hope this is the beginning of very good things to come and we thank God for it."
The warship was named after the Andoni people of south-eastern Nigeria - and several chiefs travelled to Lagos to witness the launch - including his Royal Highness NL Ayuwu Iraron Ede-Obolo II, wearing a top hat, a sequin-adorned velvet gown and a brightly coloured necklace.
The ceremony also featured multi-faith prayers, with an imam asking God to "protect and preserve this ship from the dangers of the day and the violence of the enemy", and a Christian praying: "May she sail with success like the Ark of Noah."
The event had an interesting twist of symbolism for the guest of honour, Nigeria's leader, Goodluck Jonathan.
Anti-pirate ship

Chief AndoniNamed after the Andoni, their chiefs were some of the guests of honour at the ship's launch
He is from a family of canoe makers - and that he is now the president launching a warship is a sign of how far he has risen.
"This is the beginning of the transformation... and I believe in another 10 to 15 years, we can be thinking about starting a project to take Nigerians into the air," President Jonathan said.
The NNS Andoni could be key in the fight against militants operating near Nigeria's oil fields as well as the growing threat of piracy in the Gulf of Guinea.
Piracy in Nigerian waters is on the increase and incidents are happening over a wider area, according to the International Maritime Bureau.
There were 10 piracy attacks off the 780km (485 miles) of Nigeria's coastline during the first quarter this year - the same number reported for the whole of 2011.
"While the number of reported incidents in Nigeria is still less than Somalia… the level of violence against crew is dangerously high," according to a recent IMB report.
The NNS Andoni is equipped with an advanced radar system and firepower.
"With a speed of up to 25 knots (46km/h), this can quickly go to intercept the pirates," said Commanding Officer Adepegba standing on the bridge pointing out the ship's three machine guns and the automatic grenade launcher.
Foreign orders
The Nigerian navy reportedly wants to acquire 49 more vessels over the next 10 years. But how many will be home built?
Orders are already in - for three from a French shipbuilder, and six from Singapore.
NNS ThunderThe NNS Thunder was donated by the US - but its monthly fuel is huge
President Jonathan recently approved the acquisition of two large patrol vessels from China Shipbuilding and Offshore International, a mainly state-owned company.
In an effort to boost local industry, one of the Chinese vessels is meant to be 70% built in Nigeria.
NNS Andoni was dwarfed when a 105m-long frigate steamed past during the ceremony - with all the officers cheering on deck.
NNS Thunder, a veteran of the Vietnam War, arrived at the beginning of the year, a gift from the US.
Eyebrows were raised when it was announced that the monthly fuel bill of the 45-year-old ship would be $1m (£650,000).
When this year's navy's $450m budget was discussed at the House of Assembly in January, one senator described the donated ships as hand-outs that could become liabilities rather than assets.
There were also calls for corruption to be plugged.
"Corruption has sucked the blood out of our system. So we have to depend on hand-outs," one senator lamented.
NSS Andoni's fuel bill will certainly be lower than NNS Thunder.
'No indigenous touch'
After parading on the deck, the naval officers took photos of each other with mobile phones - clearly delighted with the new ship.
"It's a great day. It's taken over five years but it's worth it," said a smiling Kelechi, one of the engineers.
"We came up with the design, the expertise and about 60% of the materials were locally sourced. The engines, generators and navigation equipment came from outside."
Nigeria is one of Africa's biggest oil producers, but this has not so much helped as hampered the development of local industries because the country has relied so heavily on imported goods.
sailorSailors hope NNS Andoni will mark a bright new future for Nigeria's navy
As he launched NNS Andoni, President Jonathan lamented the decline of industries that had been strong not long after independence in 1960.
"We had Nigerian Airways, the Nigerian shipping line and a number of investments that were doing well. But because there was no indigenous touch, all these died," the president said.
"We are told that some countries that were on par with us are now building aircraft, choppers and other things," he said, adding that Nigeria had for a long time not embraced technology.
The president suggested sending the brightest students of engineering to the best universities in the world.
"Then let them come back and work in Nigeria because we cannot continue to be importing. We have a very large market and even what we consume alone is enough to support an industry."
"We have this market, we must use it," President Jonathan said - before laying the keel to mark the start of work on the second "Made in Nigeria" warship.




Ecobank named 2012 African Bank of the Year

Ecobank Transnational Incorporated (ETI) has been adjudged 2012 African Bank of the Year at the 6th edition of the African Banker Awards, held on the sidelines of the just-ended Annual General Meetings of the African Development Bank (AfDB) in Arusha, Tanzania.
The transcontinental bank headquartered in Lome, Togo with a subsidiary in Ghana was said to have won the award due to its continued expansion across Africa as well as the recent $200 million investment agreement it signed with South Africa’s Public Investment Corporation.
Ecobank Group Chief Executive Officer Arnold Ekpe also received the Lifetime Achievement Award at the event organised by the African Banker magazine, IC Events and BusinessinAfrica Events.
The African Banker of the Year went to the Managing Director of Nigeria’s Guaranty Trust Bank, Mr Olusegun Agbaje.
Full list of winners of the various awards:
African Bank of the Year: Ecobank (ETI), Togo
African Banker of the Year: Olusegun Agbaje, Managing Director, Guaranty Trust Bank, Nigeria
Best Regional Bank in Africa: Attijariwafa Bank, Morocco (North Africa); BGFI, Gabon (Central Africa);
Bank of Kigali, Rwanda (East Africa); Access Bank, Nigeria (West Africa); BCI, Mozambique (Southern Africa).
Investment Bank of the Year: Renaissance Capital
Award for Innovation in Banking: Equity Bank, Kenya
Socially Responsible Bank of the Year: BMCE Bank Group, Morocco
Award for Financial Inclusion: Groupe Banque Populaire, Morocco
Deal of the Year: Jinchuan’s Acquisition of Metorex – Standard Bank Group
Best Bond Deal: Republic of Senegal: Sovereign Bond Issue – Standard Chartered Bank
Investment Fund/Private Equity Fund of the Year: Citadel Capital, Egypt
Best Retail Bank in Africa: Coris Bank International, Burkina Faso
Central Bank Governor of the Year: Mustapha Kamel Nabli, Central Bank Governor, Tunisia
Finance Minister of the Year: Kerfalla Yansané, Minister of Finance, Guinea
Lifetime Achievement Award: Arnold Ekpe
African Banker Icon: Dr Eleni Gabre-Mahdin, Founder and CEO, Ethiopia Commodities Exchange

Calvino Inman: Boy Produces Blood Tears

Calvino Inman with blood running from his eyes breaks the
 world\'s record in the field of medicine
Calvino Inman cries tears of blood three times a day, which shocks all over the world. The U.S. teenager has been caught with such weird syndrome for two years and there isn\'t any treatment to prevent blood tears from his eyes. It takes up to an hour each time for the 15-year-old Tennessee teenager to produce blood tears. This is a rare and strange phenomenon for medicine industry expecting an early explanation. Since his exposure to the bizarre disease, Calvino Inman has become so well-known that his video clips are available on the Internet worldwide; besides, Calvino Inman and his mother have appeared on national TV news programs with the hope of escaping from such a strange disease. Let\'s get to know the 15-year-old boy, Calvino Inman crying tears of blood three times a day through the following images.


Until now, there have been many images and videos showing red teardrops moving down his cheeks and leaving a bloody streams on his face
Until now, there have been many images and videos showing red teardrops moving down his cheeks and leaving abloody streams on his face

The boy\'s mother, Tammy Mynatt shows off deep sorrow at her son\'s syndrome. She spent her son to hospitals in the U.S
The boy\'s mother, Tammy Mynatt shows off deep sorrow at her son\'s syndrome. She sent her son to hospitals in the U.S

The 35-year-old mother expects the help of foreign medical experts from New York, Memphis, to Atlanta
The 35-year-old mother expects the help of foreign medical experts from New York, Memphis, to Atlanta

The movie
The movie "The Boy With Bloody Tears", launched on The Learning Channel (TLC), supplies more information of the strange U.S boy

Calvino was taken to be checked an MRI, ultrasounds and a CAT scan
Calvino was taken to be checked an MRI, ultrasounds and a CAT scan

Calvino Inman and his mother Tammy Mynatt really need a proper explanation from good doctors
Calvino Inman and his mother Tammy Mynatt really need a proper explanation from good doctors

According to ophthalmologist Dr Rex Hamilton at the Hamilton Eye Institute, Calvino may suffer from haemolacria, which means
According to ophthalmologist Dr Rex Hamilton at the Hamilton Eye Institute, Calvino may suffer from haemolacria, which means "bloody tears"

Nasdaq Proposes $40 Million Fund to Compensate for Facebook Losses


Nasdaq OMX Group on Wednesday outlined plans for a “one-time” payout of around $40 million to compensate some financial firms that lost money after the exchange operator botched their trades during the ill-fated debut of Facebook shares.
The plan involves a mix of cash and trading discounts aimed at easing the reputational damage from the technical problems that plagued Facebook’s initial public offering last month and left brokers with unwanted trading positions, though Nasdaq has insisted it isn’t to blame for the sharp slide in the social media network’s valuation.
The planned payouts are subject to approval from the Securities and Exchange Commission and fall well below the $100 million or more that financial firms said they lost because of the technical problems, and will also likely stir objections from rival exchanges, according to people familiar with the situation.
Nasdaq said it would pay $13.7 million in cash to member firms that suffered losses, including the $10.7 million profit it made from first-day trading and the maximum $3 million allowed by regulators to make good for trading snafus.
The rest would come in the form of trading discounts seen vesting over six months, with the push to pay out more than the $3 million cap set by regulators raising concerns among rivals that it would set an unwelcome precedent.
The payout plan will be overseen by the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, which will evaluate claims, though the agency has said Nasdaq will make the final decision.
Nasdaq said compensation would be limited to claims fitting a number of criteria and will not be extended to “losses that resulted from affirmative decisions by members.”
The company outlined three types of transactions that would qualify, including sell orders priced at or below $42 a share that didn’t execute.
Sell orders priced at or below $42 that didn’t execute and buy orders priced at $42 that were executed but not immediately confirmed would also be considered for what Nasdaq described as “accommodations.”
Problems with Nasdaq OMX exchange systems handling the May 18 opening of Facebook shares delayed the hugely anticipated debut by 30 minutes and left brokers with millions of shares’ worth of unconfirmed trades. Firms didn’t learn the results of their orders until more than two hours after the stock opened, and some were caught by surprise when they were notified by Nasdaq of unexpected positions in the social-networking company’s newly listed stock.
Nasdaq said it has hired IBM to review its trading systems.

Bomb targets U.S. mission in Libya's Benghazi


BENGHAZI, Libya (Reuters) - A bomb exploded outside the U.S. diplomatic mission in the Libyan city of Benghazi overnight, an attack that could be retaliation for the killing, in a U.S. drone strike, of al Qaeda's Libyan second-in-command.
An improvised explosive device was dropped from a passing vehicle onto the road outside the mission, in an upmarket area of central Benghazi. It exploded moments after, slightly damaging the building's gate, U.S. and Libyan officials said.
Washington had confirmed a few hours before the attack that a U.S.-operated drone had killed Abu Yahya al-Libi, a Libyan-born cleric and senior al Qaeda operative, in Pakistan.
The U.S. State Department said it had asked Libyan authorities to increase security around U.S. facilities.
"We deplore the attack on our diplomatic mission in Benghazi," State Department spokesman Mark Toner told a news briefing.
Toner said a local guard reported that an attack was underway against one of the Benghazi compound's perimeter walls and warned diplomatic staff to take cover.
The bombing will revive concerns about the lack of security in Libya, where last year Muammar Gaddafi was overthrown in an uprising supported by NATO air power.
The fragile government is still struggling to restore stability after the revolt and arms and explosives looted from Gaddafi's arsenals are easily available.
Toner said Washington was awaiting results from an investigation by the Libyan government, but had no reason to suspect the attack was retaliation for Libi's killing.
Some security analysts disagreed: "The possibility that this act took place because of what happened to Abu Yahya is, in my personal opinion, a very strong one," said Noman Benotman, a Libyan former Islamist who is now an expert on militant groups.
"Al Qaeda loyalists maybe wanted to deliver a message to the U.S. ...to say enough is enough," he said.
MINOR WOUNDS
A spokesman for Libya's interim government - which has allied itself closely with Washington - said that one of the security personnel in the area of the U.S. mission had sustained minor wounds in the explosion.
The street in Benghazi where the diplomatic mission is located was cordoned off on Wednesday. At the embassy building in Tripoli, three security guards were on duty but there was no evidence of any increased Libyan security presence.
A trade mission from the United States was scheduled to hold meetings starting on Thursday in Tripoli and Benghazi. It was not clear if these would now go ahead.
A spokesman for Libya's ruling National Transitional Council, Mohammed al-Harizy, said investigators had leads on who might have carried out the attack, but did not give any details.
Experts on militant groups had predicted that the killing of Libi, described by U.S. officials as a major blow to al Qaeda, would provoke some kind of backlash in his home country.
Though he spent much of his life outside Libya, he was a member of the now-defunct Libyan Islamic Fighting Group, which fought an insurgency against Gaddafi in the 1990s, and his family is well known in Libya.
His brother, Abu Bakr al-Qayed, told Reuters by telephone he knew nothing of the Benghazi attack. Asked if he thought there would be a reaction in Libya to Libi's killing, he said only: "I don't know, but the Muslim is the brother of the Muslim."
Benghazi, Libya's second city, has become a focus for insurgent-style attacks in the past few months, but the overnight attack was the first time a U.S. facility in Libya had been targeted since Gaddafi was overthrown.
On May 22, a rocket-propelled grenade hit the offices of the International Committee of the Red Cross in the city, blasting a small hole in the building but causing no casualties.
A month earlier, a bomb was thrown at a convoy carrying the head of the U.N. mission to Libya.
Underscoring the lack of proper security in Libya, a disgruntled volunteer militia this week occupied Tripoli international airport for several hours, leaving bullet holes in at least one jet and forcing airlines to cancel flights.
(Additional reporting by Hadeel Al Shalchi, Ali Shuaib and Marie-Louise Gumuchian in Tripoli and William Maclean in London; Editing by Rosalind Russell)

Wednesday 23 May 2012

Medical Evidence For Speaking In Tongues


Two thousand years ago, a bunch of uneducated men who believed in Christ were overcome by the power of the Holy Spirit at an event  we have now come to term ‘Pentecost’. They were ridiculed and even accused of being drunk by some of the onlookers.
Today, Spirit-filled Christians who exercise the gift of tongues are still being ridiculed by unbelievers and in some cases, fellow Christians too! So is there any truth behind speaking in tongues? I hope to do a thorough bible study on this matter at a later date but for now, my aim is to point you to research conducted at an American University, whose aim was to study the physiological impact of praying in tongues and to determine whether or not it was just another load of gibberish. If the bible’s claim that when we pray in the Spirit our minds are unfruitful is to be believed then an MRI scan would be able to disprove it as a false claim if indeed there was brain activity that should only be detected when praying in our understanding.
I don’t know about you but I don’t see any contest between science and the Christian faith. Rather, I find that science validates our faith even though it often seems like science is playing serious catch up. Aren’t you intrigued to know what the research concluded? This short video clip holds the answer. Enjoy.
1 Corinthians 14:14 – For if I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays, but my mind is unfruitful.

Did you know about the rapture detector app on itunes?

I still can’t figure out if this is a joke or not but I was sent a link to an app on iTunes calledthe Rapture Detector 1.0! Yes…that’s right. Reverend Billy Joe Estes of Holy Manifestation House of Worship is making available for sale at £0.69, an app that can apparently warn you of the rapture 30 minutes prior to its occurrence. The unique selling point of this product offering is the fact that it then allows the user, presumably a Christ-follower, to live a wild and carefree life that can quickly be repented of 30 minutes before the rapture takes place! Wow! All I can say is wow! If you doubt me then search for it on iTunes yourself or check out his website: http://rapturedetector.com/category/a-moment-with.


Here is his description of the app taken off the dedicated iTunes page:
“Ladies and gentlemen,
Partying and wild living can be yours again with Reverend Billy Joe Estes, Holy Manifestation House of Worship Rapture Detector.
That’s right, you heard correctly; a Rapture Detector.
Thirty minutes prior to the Rapture you will be notified on your iOS device and you will have 30 minutes to run down to your local preacher and be saved, Hallelujah on that!
Remember, salvation is a matter of timing. Don’t be late; be early.
God bless you and please visit http://www.RaptureDetector.com for further information on Rapture Detector today!
Don’t miss your opportunity for everlasting life simply because you are enjoying this one. Timing is Everything!
God Bless”
So this Reverend truly believes he has a right to encourage people to ‘cheat the system’ as it were. He is essentially saying Christians can eat their cake and have it thanks to his app. We can finally live like unregenerate people, satisfy the lusts of our flesh and disregard the leading of the Spirit and still make it to heaven because a beep goes off on our mobile device warning us of the impending arrival of a King we never honoured and expect that a half-hearted confession from a cold untransformed heart will pave the way for us to enter into eternal rest? I can’t presume to know how God’s mind works and how He will judge such people but the bible does say quite clearly in Galatians 6:7, ‘Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows’. Besides, I doubt the credibility of the rapture detector app since Jesus Himself is unaware of the exact timing of the rapture.
“No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the
Son, but only the Father. – Matthew 24:36.
If Reverend Billy Joe Estes is for real then I can only pray that he realises how misleading his app can turn out to be for struggling Christians who would rather succumb to the call of the old unregenerate man rather than allow the life of Christ to flow through the new creatures they have become by faith in Jesus Christ.

Tuesday 22 May 2012

A Letter To My Addiction


Dear Addiction,
Where do I begin? I cannot trivialise how much we’ve been through together. We’ve been to hell and back and I just want to put the record straight between us. You were very clever in fooling me to put my faith in you, a created thing, rather than God, the Creator Himself. In my former life we shared some seemingly good times together. In fact, at some point, we were inseparable as I felt it was impossible for anyone to like the real me without you involved. I was so shy and you made me believe that you could trust you to embolden me. What a liar you are! It was you who stole my peace away. It was you who took my confidence and led me to reply on you as a crutch. It was you who left me filled with shame and worsened my insecurities. It wasyou who laughed at me when I turned to you for solace. Worst of all, it was you who kept me from loving relationship with my Creator, who craved nothing more than to see me happy and free from your clutches. Oh how I wish I had listened to the soft voice that kept warning me about you. I was so stubborn and fixated on my need for you that I failed to see God’s hand outstretched towards me , waiting to lift me up from my mess. The rest you promised and failed to provide for me has finally been made available by God. My Father has shown me that your claim that I was worthless without you was a big fat lie. He loves me more than I could ever imagine and I curse the day that I met you! The dream you promised me turned out to be my worst nightmare but thank God that I am finally walking in His dream for me because of His son Jesus. I will now turn that passion I had for you against you as I give myself to exposing the truth to all those trapped in your web of deceit. You have become my enemy and I will fight you through Christ who strengthens me. You
might as well pack your bags and say goodbye because the weakling you once bullied and influenced with your lies is now sitting on the shoulders of a loving Giant. When I am weak, He is strong. Listen carefully to me addiction: “In Jesus name, get thee behind me”. That is truly where you belong and by God’s grace, that is where you will reside for the rest of my life. – Christian
Key Scripture: Romans 1:25
25They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the  Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
 Today’s blog post is a very serious one because it tackles an issue faced by more Christians than would care to admit. Addiction is a problem that is particularly predominant in our culture today. The bible clearly tells us that idols are constantly competing with God for our worship. In effect, addiction is the worship of created things rather than the actual Creator. Have you ever heard someone say something like: “ I can’t stop fornicating”; or “I had to take another hit because I simply could not help myself”. We’ve all heard and made statements like these albeit in different contexts but what we can observe is that the idol, which could be cigarettes for example, starts off promising to help you relax. The idol competes with God for your attention and those who fall for it miss out on the only true source of relaxation. After a while, the cigarettes or idol starts to take more and more control over your life and a single stick has progressed to social smoking. Before you know it, the idol or cigarette starts to tell you that you cannot enjoy a simple evening indoors without it and then you start smoking at home. Can you notice how the so-called freedom to smoke is actually ending up enslaving you to a destructive habit that God would not want for your life? Idols are a serious matter and are behind every single addiction. They ultimately want to lead us to our death in one way or another. It could be drugs, food, sex, money, power etc.

Monday 21 May 2012

Jehovah: Our Ever-Reliable Pilot


A friend of mine played this video clip and I couldn’t stop laughing. A pilot played a cruel prank on his friend by pretending to faint in the middle of their flight! The alarm in his friend’s voice is what is so hilarious. It starts off calmly and soon becomes an incomprehensible shriek that accurately depicts the man’s realisation that the plane is not being controlled by anyone and a crash was inevitable.
It’s easy to sit in the comfort and safety of our homes and laugh at the man’s predicament but I would have probably screamed louder than he did if I were in his shoes. As I thought about the video clip, I began to imagine what it would be like if we had a God who falls asleep or slumbers once in a while. What if the pilot of our destinies suddenly took His watchful eye of the ball? We would all react in panic and terror because a crash of epic proportions is inevitable when God is not in the driving seat of our lives.
He knows where He is taking us because He said He has specific plans for us. He is also a God who neither sleeps nor slumbers. His eye is on the sparrow let alone a priceless child of His. Aren’t you glad we serve a reliable Pilot like Jehovah? Thank you for watching over us and directing our paths Lord.

Funny and Strange Church Names


Some of us have had the occasional privilege of coming across the weirdest and funniestchurch names in the world! I could argue that most of those names probably originate from Nigeria but I haven’t got any statistics to back me up on that.
Without much ado, let me take you on a dizzying tour of some of the most outrageous church names in the world. Please don’t forget to vote for your favourite name at the end of the post. Prepare to laugh your heads off! It’s just mind-boggling to think that anyone would take these names seriously. In no particular order:
ANGELS ON FIRE CHAPEL OF PEACE (Someone needs to put out those fires quick!)
HEALING HAS BEGUN MINISTRIES (When? What time? Did I miss it?)
BY FIRE BY FIRE MINISTRIES (Someone please call the fire service!)
JEHOVAH SHARP SHARP (For those who don’t like to wait!)
DAVID KILLED GOLIATH MINISTRIES (…err? No comments!)
SATAN IN TROUBLE MINISTRIES (Last I checked he too is aware!)
HIGH TENSION MINISTRIES (Beware of electrocution!)
CHUKWUDI & SON EVANGELICAL MINISTRY (Son, I’d like you to join the family business!)
POWER PASS POWER CHURCH OF THE MOUNTAIN MINISTRIES (Really?)
DEVIL GO HEAR AM MINISTRIES (Hahaha! What’s it with the devil?)
GUIDED MISSILES CHURCH (Gaddafi beware!)
LABORATORY CHURCH OF GOD (But Pastor I forgot to bring my goggles and lab coat!)
GO AND TELL AHAB THAT ELIJAH IS HERE MINISTRIES (What if I don’t have any friends called Elijah or Ahab!)
TRIGGER HAPPY MINISTRIES (These pastors really enjoying shooting sha!)
EL-SHADDAI MUST NOT DIE (Last I checked, God is immortal right?)
GIVERS NEVER LACK MINISTRIES (Yeah, givers to my ministry!)
FIST OF FURY CHURCH (Jesus and Bruce Lee fend off the demons with kung fu!)
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE MINISTRIES (Yeah mate, I’m running from your church!)
THE YOKE MUST BROKE MINISTRIES (Dude…please do your english teacher proud!)
FACE TO FACE MINISTRIES (What other type was there? Over the phone ministries?)
I’m sure most of you will agree with me that these ministry names are hilarious. However, on closer inspection, it is rather worrying to observe the trend in which the gospel is being prostituted in developing nations particularly. Whilst I’m in no way condemning or judging any of these ministries, I am trying to point out the fact that some are selling hope to people in desperate need of it. They have turned His Father’s house into a den of robbers and that is regrettably turning true seekers away from Christ. Apart from the fact that many ‘ministries’ in Nigeria are just business ventures, some are in the habit of spending more time focused on fighting the devil rather than walking with God. There’s something disturbing about constantly firing at spiritual enemies and routing the devil rather than resting on Christ’s love and drawing from His victory on the cross.
Anyways, back to the fun bit! Which was your favourite name? Please vote for yours below.

Lol


An Asian was married to a French and they lived in Paris. unfortunately for the poor lady, she does not know many words in French. But she still managed to communicate with her husband. His misfortune was when she had to go to the grocery store .. One day she went to the butcher to buy pork legs. Not knowing how to ask, she lifted her skirt up and showed her thighs. The butcher understood. the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to buy chicken breasts. not knowing what to say to the butcher, she unbuttoned her blouse and showed her breast to the butcher. . . And again, she gets what she wanted. The third day, the lady needed a large sausage. She brought her husband to the butcher. How will she get her sausage?

Stop thinking naughty...lol
She brought her husband along cos he speaks french.lol

Jackie Appiah Under Attack


Maestro actress Jackie Appiah became a subject of gossip and bashing within Ghanaian celebrity circles at the close of last week when pictures of her on the red carpet at the opening ceremony of the 65th Cannes Film Festival in France reached Accra.

The photos showed Jackie smartly dressed in an elegant hand-beaded Kente dress by JiL and was reported to have joined a list of top film stars from across the world at the opening ceremony of the festival.

News-One checks showed that the complaints are mainly from Jackie’s colleague actresses and actors who complained that it was unfair for Jakcie to have been made to take the lead to the festival when they were to travel as a group to represent Ghana.

Fred Nuamah, Chief Executive of the Ghana Movie Awards, on whose ticket the stars are to attend the festival, is being accused of discrimination and showing an unfair bias to Jackie.

One of the aggrieved actors who pleaded anonymity noted, “it is not fair that when you are to represent your country at such an international festival and you are to go as a group then one person would be made to take the lead and go ahead of the rest to walk the red carpet and pose for the photos so that later the rest of us would go and join her and be treated like back benchers.”

News-One also learnt that when the Ghanaian actors and actresses attended the festival last year, not all of them had the opportunity to walk the red carpet and this became an issue, with some of them crying foul.

Some of them are therefore upset at the fact that the apparent discrimination seems to have been repeated this year as only Jackie Appiah was made to be at the opening ceremony and pose for the international media while her colleagues were made to leave Ghana at a time the festival was underway.

When News-One contacted Fred Nuamah over the matter, he explained that Jackie Appiah has a Canadian travelling passport and it was easier to facilitate her travelling arrangements to France unlike the other stars who had Ghanaian passports, with which getting travelling visas was a challenge.

“How can I discriminate and favour one star against the rest? I would have loved to have even sent as many as 100 actors and actresses. Truth is what I have told you, Jackie uses a Canadian passport because she was born there or something; so it was easier for her to fly to France.

“We are working on the travelling arrangements for the rest and trust me, they would all be at the Festival. It has not been easy but we are getting some cooperation from the Netherlands, Embassy and they would all be there even including a Ghanaian media contingent,” Mr. Nuamah explained.

Over the weekend a statement issued from the office of the Ghana Movie Awards said the Cannes Film Festival Accreditation Board had invited 15 Ghanaian movie Stars to the festival penned for the 16th to 27th May 2012.

It said the invitation was the result of negotiations between the Ghana Movie Awards office and the accreditation board of the festival to allow Ghanaian movie stars to walk on the red carpet in France for the second time.

The statement named the following stars as being part of the 15 and said they were to leave by Saturday 19th May 2012, aboard a Lufthansa flight to France - Rose Mensah aka Kyeiwaa, Yvonne Nelson, Van Vicker, Prince Dave Osei, Martha Ankomah, Yvonne Okoro, Nadia Buari, Vivian Jill, John Dumelo, Majid Michel, Juliet Ibrahim, Jocelyn Dumas, Fred Nuamah, Roselyn Ngissah and Jackie Appiah.

The statement said the initiative by the organizers of the Ghana Movie Awards was to sell the Ghanaian Movie industry beyond the borders of West Africa and to motivate the Ghanaian movie industry to achieve greater laurels.

News-One
Source: news one

Scientific study confirms that Mondays suck


File this under things that we already knew, but a confirmation by science doesn’t hurt. A scientific study by Marmite has revealed that Mondays do indeed suck.
The findings fo the study, as reported by The Telegraph, indicate that many people don’t smile on Mondays until 11:16 am, and that half of us won’t turn up to work on time, either. Mondays also tend to be fairly unproductive, with only about three and a half hours of actual work getting done. And those in the 45 to 54 year-old demographic will moan for about 12 minutes on Mondays, making them the most susceptible to the suck that is Monday.
Experts indicate that the reason behind our hatred of Mondays is a result of humans being “governed by deep-rooted tribal habits” and that we prefer to ease into the week rather than tackle it head-on first thing Monday morning. In fact, those that do the latter may end up burning themselves out before Friday hits.
Want to make Mondays suck less? Marmite also revealed the top five ways you can try to do that:
  1. Watching TV
  2. Sex
  3. On-line shopping
  4. Buying chocolate or make-up
  5. Planning a holiday
So when you start off the week with a little less enthusiasm than your employer or coworkers might like, just tell them that it’s a proven scientific fact that Mondays generally suck.

STATUS UPDATE: MARK ZUCKERBERG IS NOW MARRIED!


US computer programmer, Internet entrepreneur and Facebook founder and C.E.OMark Zuckerberg has had an interesting week celebrating his birthday, seeing his company’s IPO, and getting married!
According to the Associated Press, the 28-year-old and his long-time bride Priscilla Chan tied on Saturday, May 19, 2012 at a small ceremony at Zuckerberg’s house in Palo Alto, Calif.
The ceremony took place at his backyard before fewer than 100 guests including Facebook’s Chief Operating Officer – Sheryl Sanberg. The guests were said to have been coming to celebrate Chan’s graduation but were surprised to find out the couple would be tying the knot. ‘Everybody was shocked’, a guest said, according to AP.
Chan, 27, has been busy this week too – she graduated from medical school at theUniversity of California, San Francisco on Monday. The couple met at Harvard and have been together for more than nine years.
Congratulations to you both. The world is always a better place when you get to share the trip with someone you love! :) ‘, a comment on the Mark and Priscilla’s picture posted on his wall reads.
Zuckerberg remains Facebook’s single largest shareholder, with $503.6m worth of shares and 56 per cent control of its voting stock.
The famous website which was birthed in a dorm room eight years ago has grown into the biggest social networking platform with almost a billion users.
And oh yea, Zukerberg’s relationship status on Facebook has been changed to ‘married’ too.

Sunday 20 May 2012

BABY GIRL FOR TIMAYA!


After granting The Punch Newspaper an interview a few weeks ago on his choice of wife, little did we know Enetimi Alfred Odom better known as Timaya was an expectant father.
The Port-Hacourt singer and self-acclaimed Egberi Papa 1 of Bayelsa sure has a reason to be thankful to God, as he joins the league of celebrity fathers.
At exactly 1:35AM this morning, Timaya broke the news of the delivery of his baby girl on Twitter.  ‘Wow am now a father, thank u jehova for d birth of my cute daughter….‘, @timayatimaya happily tweeted.
As at the time of this report, the mother of the baby is still unknown.


WOMEN CAN BE DANGEROUS. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY WANT TO CHEAT


Saturday 19 May 2012

SHINE


Shine

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate;
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
“Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?”
Actually, who are you NOT to be?
You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others will not feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine – as children do.
We are born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just some of us: it is all of us.
As we let our own light shine, we give others permission
to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others from their fear.
May we all give ourselves permission to shine today
so that the truth is reflected in all of us.

Friday 18 May 2012

LOL'S

A lady said to her
fiance "now that we are
engaged,we should start
calling each other sweet pet names.
The man
(uninterested) asked her "so
what do you want to be calling
me"? She replied "i
will be calling you TIGER"... Why
tiger,the man
asked..."because you are
handsome,tall,
charming,strong,
calculating,smart and very good
in BEDmatics" she said. Then in a
sexy tone,she
asked him "what will you be
calling me"? The man
still uninterested replied; "i will
be calling you
ZEBRA"...the lady still smiling
seductively and
kissing his cheek screamed
"wow,that's lovely and
sweet"! Why did you chose such
a lovely name for
me"?...the man responded "it's
because of your
many STRETCH MARKS

IS ONLY WITH FAITH THAT THIS AIRCRAFT WILL TAKE OFF


I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THIS PIC...HAHAHAHAHAHA


NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS..NEVER, NEVER, NEVER


A TRUE LOVE STORY

"A very poor man lived with his wife. One day, his wife, who had long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well. The man felt very sorry and said no. he does not even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken. She did not insist on her request. The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife. He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to her wife. He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut. She had sold her hair to a Brazilian manufacturer and was holding a new watchband. Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes. not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love''

UNUSUAL

THE HUSBAND OF THIS WOMAN MUST BE A STRONG MAN...11 STRAIGHT??? WOW